I tried hard to think about a topic to write about. Many came to my mind but I just didn’t feel like writing them. There have been a lot of things related to books and blogging on my mind and today I’m gonna share them.
Since the beginning of this year I’ve been really serious about making my blog grow. I made a schedule, I wrote and I posted. I sat down and I read all the review books that were pending and posted their reviews. I’ve been blogging, reading review books and bookstagramming extensively for 5 months now and I love it. I love how many people read my blog, comment and follow it. I love that I’ve been reading from a lot of debut authors. I love that I’ve discovered so many new people.
But despite of all this, I’m feeling burnt out.
There are a lot of things on my mind and I’m gonna share them. Before writing this I thought “Who is even going to read about this stuff” And I don’t know who will but I’m still going to write and post this and I’ll be thankful to anyone who reads this. Right now, I’m writing for myself.
One of the major things that’s been plaguing me is that I’ve been blogging for more than a year and I still haven’t made any friends. Maybe I’m stupid to think this but it was one of the reasons that I started blogging, to make friends who love books and just talk to people. I know this is my fault because I don’t make the first move. I myself don’t try to interact with other bloggers enough. I have realized this and I’m working on it. I also read somewhere that you should give a personal touch to your blog and I realized my blog doesn’t have that. I do want to make this blog about myself too, I want it to reflect my personaility and be original and I’m not sure how to do that.
Another reason comes from the fact that I’ve decided to make books my career. I want to study English Literature and I want to someday work in a publishing house, or write a book, or be an editor. Just anything that comes from my love of reading. And because of this I’ve been researching a lot. I’ve been trying to grow my blog, make plans and try new things. All this is good and it honestly makes me happy. But its stressful too.
The next one is something that I guess happens to all of us sometimes. Its the pressure of reading review copies. Even though I love getting them and I’m the one who eagerly accepts them, it feels like that’s all I’ve been doing for a long time. I don’t feel excited now at the prospect of reading because there’s always some review book or a book from my tbr that I need to read. It hurts me to say this, but its really been a long time since I have read a book with total peace of mind. I also made a goal at the beginning of this year to read all the books on my shelf that I owned before 2017. There are a lot of classics and some huge books on it and I’m realizing that I will not be able to do it.
I haven’t been journaling since this year began. Maybe I’ve just lost interest. I have thought about penning down my thoughts whenever I feel stressed but honestly, writing in my journal hasn’t helped me much before.
Another thing is bookstagram. Bookstagram is honestly a wonderful place and I am there all the time and I couldn’t be more grateful for the unbelievable amount of people who follow me. But lately I feel like my pictures are not up to the mark or I should have a theme or work harder on them. But the thing is that’s just not me. I’m not into photography. I love looking at pictures and I think its wonderful that people are passionate about it. There are bookstagrammers who spend so much time and effort in creating absolutely beautiful pictures and I really appreciate it. But its just not for me. I’m not good at taking pictures or editing them and the simple reason is that I’m not passionate about it. I joined bookstagram to share my reading progress and just talk about books and that’s what I’ll continue to do. Ofcourse, I’ll try my best to take good pictures but I’m not going to stress myself about it.
I want to be excited at the thought of reading and blogging and right now, its just not like that. I also really need to study and do school projects, but I’m procrastinating them because there’s just always some blogging stuff to do.
I think I might take a break from blogging but I’m not sure about it. I would like to just have some quiet time for studying and reading only when I want to.
This is the first time I’m sharing something like this on the Internet so I’m a little nervous. Anyways, if you read this post till the end, thank you. I really appreciate it.
I’d love to know if you guys have any thoughts for me.