The lights go out. With it, my heart beat races. Thump, thump, thump. I put my hand on my chest and pray for it to come out. My shirt bunches in my hand but my heart remains inside. How can I make it quiet? How can I make it slow down? How can I make it disappear? My body talks to me. I don’t want to talk back. I have no words. I have no words to say to the agony inside me. I have no words to say to the person I have become. Will it ever end? My misery doesn’t find its light but my hands do. I turn it on and wait. I wait for my heart to shrink back. Just for a while. I wait for my heart to hide back inside. Just for a while. Until another day ends. Until another day begins. Another night comes. And the lights go out.